Book Review: Normal People by Sally Rooney

So after reading a lot of rave reviews for this book I decided to pick this up. Man booker long list and other accolades (well almost) made this a very attractive choice

It took me over a week to read this. It looks like a small read but it's intense. The story follows lives of Marianne and Connell who live in Carricklea through their High school into their college at Dublin. Their on and off relationship, their lives and interactions with other people around them. Without actually 'telling' the author has touched upon many issues in this book. Abuse, bullying, lack of conversation, friendship, love, suicide, depression..... Everything. There's a lot that the author has successfully conveyed through the story without actually saying and I understand why this book got so many rave reviews and recommendations

For me- it was fine. Slightly heavy given my life situation (two kids, busy job- enough on my plate already!)
That said, it's a great read. It really gets you thinking.

I'm back

I think I should write more often!

Celebrations

And the year end is around the corner. For someone who never really celebrated new year with great enthusiasm (read party, drinks and dance) new year now comes with a new attraction. The lil monster turns one. And celebrates her big day every new year. So now new year has a new significance for me.....

Time Has Flown By

So fast! I cannot believe my doll is almost 10 months now- few months shy of a year. Last evening at a hospital, I heard the wail of a newborn and it felt like just last week my doll was that small.   Just a few days ago I was supporting her neck. Was it not yesterday I was overjoyed with her first smile?
How fast time has flown....

Open Letter

You came home, my parents' guest. You hardly know me, we are meeting after almost a year. You see my baby, hold her....play with her. Fine.

Then you tell me, "She is so thin! Don't you feed her?"

I felt the need to be defensive, I claim she takes after her slim grandparents. I tell you how the doc says she is thriving well. Her growth is absolutely fine for her age. I don't give you a piece of my mind. Funny, I thought I would have given anyone who said that a long lecture. I didn't.

Because you don't know how many nights I stayed up feeding her by the hour. You have no idea how sore each part of my body was, coping with the stress. You don't have a clue how much I have fretted over her pees and poops, the color and frequency- all indirect evidence of adequacy of her feed. You don't know how it breaks a mother's heart when someone accuses her, directly or indirectly that she isn't giving her baby the best.

I forgive you, and I thank you. You have no idea of how much your supposed smartness can give some mother some blogging material.

Record the moments.....

I look at you as you sleep in my arms. Full after a meal, content. I land you down, you stir and open your eyes, express your displeasure at being away from me. I hold you close again and you close your eyes and smile.

Someday you will be too old to sleep in my arms, you will choose your own clothes to wear. You will eat your own meals with your own hands. How time flies- seems like just a few days ago you were this wailing milk guzzling newborn. I must cherish these days. They won't come back. I must record your smiles, giggles, wails and cries all in my mind.

You wake up.....we exchange smiles. I lift you high in the air, the way you love it. In my mind I try to record all the expressions and giggles.

And you spit in my face.......

Yes motherhood still rocks.

Redux

After reading this article by Janice Goveas, I knew I had to call someone. Mother of my old dear patient, who left for heavenly abode almost 2 years ago. I had written about him the angelic boy with Acute Leukaemia, who succumbed to a very brave battle against his disease.

I had, in the course of his long treatment interacted a lot with almost whole of his family- mother, father, sister, aunts. When he passed away his shocked and devastated mother had called me and told me about his demise. After that I lost touch with her but I missed the sweet boy- especially on his birthday, the first anniversary if his death. Yet never mustered the courage to call his mother. Will it be the right time? I don't want to remind her of him, what do I speak?

It will never be the right time. A departed son who left behind 13 years of memories cannot be forgotten. Not in a year, or a decade or even a lifetime. He will always live in her heart, a wound that probably won't ever heal. So I finally decided to do the deed.

She didn't recognise me for around a minute or so and I didn't want to call myself her son's anaethetist. I just waited for her to recognise me. Which she did and for a moment she wasn't sure I even knew about his demise. After a few cursory exchanges we both cried for a few minutes. Words flowed effortlessly and I realised I was mostly listening and intermittently talking. She told me how much she missed her boy and her home was full of his memories. She and her husband had gone deep into soul healing philosophy and were struggling to live a normal life. They believed in life after death and were hoping to find their dear boy some day again. Their daughter was trying to get back to a normal life too. They had finally managed to get over a large part of the painful loss.

The conversation was lot longer than I had expected and though it wasn't easy I am glad I called her. I somehow felt much lighter after talking to her. An unknown lady, probably 15 years my senior and we met for a few months by chance. She has invited me to her place and she wants to tell me lot more about her dear boy. I think I shall pay her a visit, hopefully I can help her in some way by sharing the memories of her son's small journey with her.